If I told you I had invented The Doomsday Device, would you believe me?
You shouldn't, because it isn't true, but that's not the point. Point is that since only recently I find myself in a position of power and everyone seems to look up to me and, for reasons unbeknownst to yours truly, put a great deal of stock in the things I say. So chances are that if I went on Twitter tonight, waded through the mountain of messages people have sent me and told the world - in 140 characters or less, obviously - that I am indeed responsible for such a heinous creation, a lot of folks would probably buy it.
This brings to mind quite an expansive philosophical discussion - obvious, perhaps, but no less important - that I am not interested in having with you right now, here, in the middle of this parking lot. Honestly, I would rather just sit down on the curb and eat this delicious sandwich my wife packed me for lunch and forget about all of the bullshit I'm about to force myself through today and, if I'm lucky, make it home tonight without some wacko jumping me on the sidewalk, claiming one of my fingers and selling it on eBay.
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Playing on my iTunes at this very moment:
Two Door Cinema Club, This Is The Life
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