To-do list

 
1. Continue to breathe oxygen.

2. Shower daily.

3. Shield your eyes from bright lights.

4. Walk forward three cars so you don't miss your stop on the train ride home, because no one is awake right now and even if they were, they wouldn't be even remotely interested in driving out to pick up your sorry ass.

5. Eat more carrots. You might get better night vision, which is awesome.

6. Write more.

7. Wash the car, it looks like shit.

8. Finally grow a pair and ask out that girl who works up on 14, because she's gorgeous and always smiles at you. Plus, she's seen you in a ridiculous chef's apron; how much worse could it get?

9. Move out.

10. Seriously, move out. Before you go batshit crazy.

11. Get promoted.

12. Spend less money.

13. Fight more crime. This may or may not require a sizeable dose of gamma radiation.

14. Get over whatever slight distaste for commitment you seem to have been stricken by. Otherwise #8 is going to be a lot tougher.

15. Start going to bed on time.

16. Apologize to people. You know which ones I'm talking about.

17. Keep your grammar tips to yourself. No one particularly likes to be corrected, you ass.

18. Pay back your parents for everything they've paid for over the past two years.

19. Start working out again. Wimp.

20. Realize, once and for all, that even though you think being atheist and liberal "obviously" makes you smarter than your ideological opposites, you are, in fact, a huge tool who knows exactly jack shit about how the world is, no matter how much you pretend otherwise.

21. Stop being an asshole on the road - regardless of how fucking stupid that d-bag from PA is being in front of you.

22. Don't give up on anything you really care about.

23. Relax.

24. Fall in love. Once again, refer to #8.

25. Don't complain about how things are.
_________________________________________________

Playing on my iTunes at this very moment:
The Fall of Troy, Sledgehammer